That Looks A Little Off

Huh....

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 03:56:03 GMT

Due to kusoyaro linking me back to LJ via Fb, I may have to post an actual post later. Since things actually have been happening in my life.

But we'll see.

Writer's Block: More Island Time

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 18:41:40 GMT

You're packing your bag for that other desert island—the one with no electricity—what 5 books do you take with you?

Submitted By mika_uriah

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This is a hard one and I don't even know why I am attempting to answer it. But for right now I am going to say:
1. "Invisible Monsters" by Chuck Palahniuk
2. "100 Years of Solitude" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
3. "Lamb: the Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal" by Christopher Moore
4. "Stardust" by Neil Gaiman
5. "Otherworld" by Tad Williams (sure, it's a four book series, but it's technically just one story, right? Right?"

Really these are just the first 5 books that popped into my head, but honestly I could list off another five off the bat, that I would not want to live my life without reading again.

book meme

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 03:37:10 GMT

Stole this from muffdaddysmooth .

Grab the nearest book.
Open it to page 56.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
Don’t dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

The nearest book to me is my autographed copy of Christopher Moore's "Fool." And here is the sentence:

"What we offered, was offered when she was dear to us."

Writer's Block: Jackpot

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 08:15:33 GMT

If you won the lottery, what would you do with your newfound riches?

Submitted By kimbereli09

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Pay off all my debts, build a house, pay off my mom's house, pay my sister to dump her loser boyfriend, never ever work a serious job ever again, open an art gallery and, of course, finance a horror movie or three.

Writer's Block: Rare Condition

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:46:58 GMT

Do you suffer from paraskevidekatriaphobia or know anyone who does?

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No, but I do have a fear of trying to pronounce that word.

Just 'Cause This Is Funny

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 07:30:29 GMT

We live in a college apartment complex. Across the hall from us live a couple of females. Just before my roommate came to retrieve me from work, this is what he overheard.

(Two men leaving the apartment across the hall and stopping to talk in the hall)
Guy 1: You totally cockblocked me.
Guy 2: I was not fuckin' cockblocking you.
Guy 1: Dude, yes you were.
(Door open, girl pops head out)
Awesome Neighbor: For your information, he wasn't cockblocking, 'cause neither of you had any chance in the first place. Dumbasses.
(Shuts door. Guys continue to argue about who cockblocked who).

I Have To Brag

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 10:24:15 GMT

I'm frakkin' proud of myself. Between now and the time I posted the previous entry (just a few hours ago), I filled out my federal tax forms (and since I'm self-employed, in addition to the 1040, I had to fill out the Schedule SE and Schedule C as well).

I feel smart.

30% Chance of Flurries, My Ass

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 08:17:21 GMT

I'm lying in the dark on my bed with the blinds open watching the snow drift and wind like dust motes past the streetlights. Every so often the wind catches them right and the flakes seem to hover perfectly still before whipping up and around and off into the darkness.

I love all the people in my life very much and am thankful to have them around me.

This snow, this whiteness, this weather static, is a peaceful end to a wonderful day, even if it will be gone by the time I wake.

Writer's Block: Left Behind

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 11:22:24 GMT

What do you want done with your body after you die?

Submitted By crunch_crunch

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Oh I like this one. But there are three possible options:

1. When I was a kid, I used to bike with my brother and sister to the nearby Coyote Hills WIldlife Refuge. We'd climb hills, catch frogs, the regular kid stuff. Well, I remember climbing this huge hill in the park (I want to say it was called Glider Hill, because people would go up there to fly those little RC planes) that overlooked a stunning view of the Bay. For the longest time, I thought I'd like to have my ashes spread from this hill when I die. I'm undecided on this one because California is such a far past part of my life now. That and the hill probably isn't as beautiful as I remember.

2. However, I'm still torn between wanting to be buried and cremated. If I were to be buried, I want it to be in a real cemetary, not one of those wimpy memorial gardens with their little bronze plaques. If I'm going to be buried, I want a headstone. A nice, big carved one with a clever epitaph and some weeping angel perched atop it. A stone that moss will grow on and the rain will whither away so when people go by it 100 years from my death, they'll barely be able to read it. And if my body were buried under a huge sprawling tree, so it's roots could feed on me, that would be pretty awesome as well.

3. I've also considered donating my body to Bodyworlds. http://www.bodyworlds.com However, I would absolutely never donate it to "science" in general, because I know this would mean that plastic surgery students might be rhinoplastizing my disembodied head over here, while future surgeons cut into organs over there while some other wannabe doctors lipsuction my dead butt over there. Basically, ANYTHING could be done to me after I die, and I'd like a little more respect than that. On second thought, I probably wouldn't do the Bodyworlds either cause they leave on certain parts of skin (the lips, the eyebrows, the labia, of all things)--and that kind of creeps me out. I don't want people staring at my plasticized labia for all of eternity.

So I guess it's either in ashes off a hill (unless I find somewhere better before then) or being eaten slowly by a tree, under a nice big stone. I think I like the tree best.

Writer's Block: Peevish

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 22:55:52 GMT

Too many LJers to list have submitted this question—what is your biggest pet peeve?

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My biggest annoyance is when people cancel plans at the last minute, especially for weak reasoning like "I just don't feel like it." If it's a tentative, half-assed plan, that I don't mind so much, but let's say I've taken off work or cancelled other plans,etc., and you and I were supposed to go meet for dinner at this specific restaurant at 8 pm on Monday. Then you call at 7:30 to tell me you don't feel like going...grrr. I could smack you in the face.

Mine

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 22:57:08 GMT

http://www.onesentence.org/stories/2780/

I submitted it at least 2 months ago and it just now got accepted.

One Reason To Smoke

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 08:14:15 GMT

You laughed and yes, you are going to hell. AnotherRandomDay.com

That's a two in three chance at immortality!

I Did It!

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 17:56:13 GMT

I finally finished the commission! I fuckin' rock (and I'm glad it's over with). Now I just have to get it into the buyer's hands....

Distraction Painting

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 10:07:45 GMT

This commission I have already been paid for, of a horse's head, has been driving me batshit. Last night I tried to work on it for an hour and couldn't get the sketch right, no matter how I tried.

Tonight, my friend, Josh, who couldn't sleep, came over for an hour and a half. We put in a movie (Suicide Kings....he wasn't up for Touch of Evil) and bullshitted while I erased and sketched, erased and sketched...only half paying attention to what I was doing. And I think the distraction was exactly what I needed. I got the sketch the way I wanted it in no time, and I've just gotten the outline masked and ready for the first washes of color.

I'd come to hate working on this piece so much all i really needed was to not pay attention to it while I was doing it. Having to think about it was making it harder. Now I know the solution for next time I get stuck on a painting: invite a friend over. Maybe I will take more commissions. It will give me a reason to be more social.

EDIT: Okay, more a random thought. One thing I do hate about watercolor is it's easy to get distracted because one is always waiting for something to dry. First, it was the masking fluid. Now it's the first wash. In ten minutes it will be another wash. So on and so forth. Basically, it gives me way too much time to do random posts like this.

Thanksgiving Goodness

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 05:50:14 GMT

I'm too tired to come up with some epic and flowery entry tonight (not that I usually do anyway). Just wanted to say Thanksgiving was way better than I expected. Played Scrabble with Mom and sis, got to catch up with my cool Aunt Diana whom I haven't seen since I was 21 (i'm starting to think she is the gossip of the family). Also, found out that Mom is keeping my car insured (score!) which means I can go fetch it when Andy returns from WIsconsin and start getting some drive time in. Also found out that Mom still has her old TV (she replaced it with a nice flat panel) and am in the process of convincing her to give it to me. So soon I'll be driving (though always with a licensed driver...at least til I get comfortable with it again) and soon I might have a TV in my room, which would be awesome, cause my DVD player is in my car, meaning I will be able to watch movies in bed. Yay! Movies in bed!

Suck thing is that I've got to work this weekend. Not what I would prefer to be doing. But the more I work now the closer I'll be to my goals (and the sooner I will be able to deposit some cash in my bank account--yay bank account!).

I feel like I'm moving toward adulthood at lightening speed this week. Good times, good times. So tired.

Productivity

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 10:23:33 GMT

I had a decent night at work tonight, which got me in a good working mood when I got home. I crocheted another entire panel of the afghan I'm making for Nate, which means it's now 3/4 or 3/5 done, depending on whether I decide to make it eight or ten panels wide. I might go nine, just to be different.

Also, I finally touched pencil to expensive paper for the commission I've known about for two months. Over the last few days I have been doing lots of random sketches to try and figure out the right angle on the horse I've been paid to paint. However, tonight I finally started gently and lightly sketching out the first outlines of him on the good watercolor paper I am using. (I've gotten paid well to do this, so I might as well do it right).

WIth any luck I can have that painting done inside the next week or two. The hardest part right now is finding just the right placement on the paper that it will look good matted and frame and not off-balance. Once I've got that just right, the hard part will become not screwing up the painting process.

However, I just spilled most of a can of coke on my favorite (and only) comfy chair and my self, so that's my cue that maybe I should get some rest before I knock anything else over on anything more valuable.

e.e. cummings

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 01:40:16 GMT

Stumbled across my all-time favorite poem today while rambling around the house, trying to find something to do (that something ended up being laundry). Lines from this poem have actually been the inspiration for ALL of the Art-0-mat blocks as well as my "I Carry Your Heart" paintings.

i carry your heart with me (I carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)i want
no world (for beautiful, you are my world, my true)
and it's you whatever a moon has meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the skky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder thats keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

I Need to Change the Name of this Journal

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 09:42:19 GMT

Ive been working on a new painting and I've had my moments of artistic doubt. Things just wouldn't look right. A branch would be off, a tree would look too crooked. Then I'd get up and walk away.

I find it amazing how sometimes all you need to do is step back, literally or figuratively. Sometimes I just have to walk away and look at the painting from a distance and I can see how a certain branch should be painted or a spot of color that needs to be darkened. Other times, such as when I was leaving for work this afternoon, I wasn't even paying attention to the painting and when i glanced at it as I walked toward the door, I saw exactly where I needed to put something to fill out one particular tree that just hadn't been looking right to me. (It looks fantastic now, by the way, or at least I think so).

Learning the Language

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 06:50:06 GMT

Everytime I meet someone from another country, I try to learn one phrase in their language, "I love you." I figure as long as I know that one, wherever I go, I will be safe. After all who's going to hurt some American stranger who has just said she loves them?

Tonight I met two Polish gentlemen and they taught me that phrase in their native tongue. Couldn't tell you how to spell it, especially in the Polish alphabet, but phonetically its co-HOM-chay. The coolest part of learning this phrase for me was, in Poland, the slower you say "I love you" the more it means. "If you say it fast," they said, "It's like the wind. It whispers by. It means nothing." It's interesting how language can be so different. I mean, have you ever though that saying "I love you" to someone in English slower or faster might change how much it means? Of course not. We speed everything up. I love you becomes Love you or I <3 U or Luvya or whatever. It's good to know that in other countries, people still take their time with the most important words.

In case you're wondering I can now say I love you in Polish (obviously), Swedish, Danish, Italian, Latin, Spanish and, of course, English. And I can say "I'm in love with you" in Gaelic, kind of (it's a hard language to pronounce).

Moved In

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 04:56:32 GMT

I've gotten into the new place and am slowly getting settled. I've got most everything unpacked and am steadily cleaning the place up (it's a bachelor pad...or was til I got here). Thrown a few painting up on the walls and a few candles around the room.

No internet yet, but I manage to find my way on here when I can. It's helping me focus more on writing, painting and especially, cleaning.

And that's really all I have to say about that.

The Countdown Begins...

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 08:19:49 GMT

Finally, earlier this evening, I had my friend John call me and tell me his truck will sufficently carry my big bed. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. So everything is set in motion now. I'm to call the new roommate at 9:30 and he'll show up at ten and we'll load his van with as many boxes and clothes and whatnot as we can. By the time we've got that done, John will roll in with the truck and we'll load up the bed. My giant f**king bed. Take everything over there and then run to Target and Petsmart for the important stuff (shower curtain, new litterbox, maybe some soda and snacks). We'll head back here and get any last things (smallish furniture, forgotten items, etc) and my cat. Then (yay!) I will be moved.

Let's hope it all goes according to plan.

It's kind of a weird evening sitting here alone. The ex has decided to stay out all night and won't be helping me move tomorrow. The roommate and her boyfriend are catching an early movie. It will just be me, the new 'mate, and John. It's a good thing I don't have terribly much stuff. The unpacking and setting up is what I am NOT looking forward to (granted, I'm not really looking forward to lifting heavy shit either, but the sooner I get out of here, the easier my life will be).

Wish me luck.

Moving...

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 09:17:35 GMT

...Is exhausting. And I haven't even moved yet. It's the trouble of remembering all the little things I have tucked away all over the house and hoping to remember to pack them. It's the knack of trying to remember all the things I need to get for the new place--shower curtain, dishware, pots and pans, etc. It's the hope that no one here is going to get mad at me for taking the little shit I need more--a few cleaning supplies, disposable cups, some trash bags.

All week I have been packing a box here and a box there. I can't pack everything right away. So much of it I will need (or needed) before I move out. I finally got my art supplies packed away tonight after finishing the last of my Artomat blocks. I finally got the few dishes I own packed away just moments ago.

I'm supposed to move Saturday and I don't even know yet how I am going to move my giant ass bed. I think that is the most frustrating thing of all. It is the only big thing I own. The only thing that wouldn't fit in a car or an SUV. All I need is one big truck for one trip and I'm good to go. That's another thing that's stressing me: knowing I'm probably going to have to spend money on a Uhaul truck to move one damned thing. But it's the most important thing. I can live without my books or movies. I can live without dishes and eat out a bit. But to sleep on the floor? Unimaginable.

Where there's a will, there's a way, they say. And I'll drag it all the way to the new place on Saturday if I have to.

The Perils of AIM and OkCupid

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 03:02:50 GMT

OkCupid is a free dating/networking site that I have not been on in years. I'd say at least four, since I've been in a relationship for three and a half. I have also not used my AIM account in a long time.

But recently I decided to start using AIM, just occasionally, to see if I can contact old friends. And every time I log on, another weirdo I apparently met on OkCupid four years ago pops up. And these guys must be really sad and pathetic, because 4 years later they are still looking for a date. They don't remember how they met me on there or what I do or if I weight six hundred pounds. They just ask enough questions to find out I live in Charlotte, then start asking when I'm free. They never find out, because I then promptly block them.

It really makes you think about what you put out on the Internet and how long it might linger out there. For example, do I still have an OkCupid account? Is that guy I just blocked looking up some old-ass crappy picture of me? Also, why do we keep people on our buddy lists long after we've forgotten who they are?

Anyway, I'm skeeved out now. I'm also curious as to why the first question these guys ask isn't "Are you still single?" though, honestly, perhaps the question they should be asking is, "Is this why I'm still single?"

Too Big for my Britches

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 20:56:09 GMT

As some of you may have read, I just spent a long weekend in Copenhagen. As most of you don't know, from my point of view, Copenhagen seems to be a very fit city. Public transportation seems to be the way to go. Everyone walks, takes trains and buses, and rides a bicycle. It seemed like there were more bicycles than cars in the city. Needless to say, most people are relatively thin and fit.

Before I left on this trip, I bought a few new pairs of pants to wear. Once I arrived there, I found that I had outgrown them. (Since I quit smoking back in March, I have been gaining pound after pound slowly but surely. Until March, I had never weighed over 118 pounds). We came back from CPH last night and today I threw all my dirty clothes into the wash. This is included all the jeans I fit into, so I slipped into a pair of jogging shorts and a tank and curled up with an afghan (it's a rather dreary and rainy day here, so you know, not at all shorts and sandal weather).

The boyfriend comes home and asks if I would like to go the mall, since he's searching for some frames for some souvenirs from the trip. I tell him that I don't plan on going anywhere since all my pants are in the wash. 'Why don't you wear the ones in your suitcase?" he asks (I'm not even going to get into what he was doing in my suitcase). I let him know those are the ones that don't fit, and that my properly-sized ones are in the wash. He suggests that I go the mall with him anyway. "I will buy you some bigger pants when we get there," he says.   I decline and, as I write this, I imagine he's at the mall.

I think his answer to the problem of my weight gain might be why America has an obesity problem. Being the consumerist nation that we are, rather than solve the problem of unhealthy weight gain the way it should be solved--by exercise--most of us simply buy bigger clothes.

I'm not going to do it. I absolutely refuse. For those who say. "Well, it's been a healthy weight gain for you; you were underweight before; you don't need to lose weight," I want them to know that I don't entirely disagree. I don't think I need to lose weight. I think I need to lose fat. I have no problem with the fact that I now weigh just ounces short of 140 lbs. I would love to maintain a weight very near to this. I would just rather it be in muscle. So, if I keep gaining weight and keeping outgrowing clothes, I guess I'm going to have to start walking around in my pajama pants, because I will not buy another pair of pants in a larger size (though if they're cute, I'll buy them in the size I was up until 3 days ago, and which I am going to get back to before it's too late).

So next time you gain a few pounds (or kgs, if I have any non-American readers), before you rush off to the store to buy new pants, or the tailor to have them let out, stop and think for a minute. Maybe you should be doing a bit more to maintain your weight. Then, instead of wasting money on pants you don't need, you could buy yourself something better. A new book, some earrings, that bag you've always wanted.

Leave the Danish to the Danish

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 06:32:39 GMT

I've been baking a lot lately and with my upcoming trip to Denmark I thought I might give their signature pastry, the danish (or wienerbrod--because they don't call it a danish), a shot.

The only thing I reallymanaged was to get flour on every surface downstairs, from the floor to the couch. Well, I made something resembling danish pinwheels, but tasting more like burnt flour and raspberries. I think I'll stick to brownies and cakes for awhile.

Eventually, I'll give danish-making another shot, but its going to be awhile.